I absolutely love the picture above as a representation of life after any kind of crisis, so I want to share with you what I am talking about and how I arrived with this analogy. I believe that this picture applies to every patient that walks into a therapy department, and so many others out there and I would like to share with you a very personal narrative about my life that led me to this conclusion. There is a point of crisis in life when you realize that the life you have been going about routinely is not going to be the same any more. Whether it is something tragic like an auto accident, or a stroke, or a disease like Cancer, MS, or Parkinson’s, or in my case Diabetes. I have been blessed enough through this process to have time for some self reflection, and revelation about what has allowed me to get through and come out on the other side better than when I started.
I know that Diabetes might not seem as life shattering as some of the other things I listed, but they all cause someone to go through stages of grief, including denial, anger, depression, before you can reach acceptance and begin a journey to a different, but fulfilling life. While that is happening there are two things that are foundation-ally important to get you through, your faith or belief system and your support system. Your belief system is so important because it defines you at your core, and when the world crumbles around you it is what you can cling to to get you through until you are able to come out on the other side. In the picture above I very much believe that you faith represent the planks of the bridge and your support system represent the ropes that hold you up. Because when you are in the midst of chaos, you not only need the bridge to cling to but the support to keep you from going over the edge or falling down and never making it to the other side. Another thing about the bridge analogy is that it wasn’t just put there to be looked at and appreciated or studied, it is made to be used. So when you finally realize that you have the resources around you to keep going and take those steps, trusting the bridge planks and supports you are able begin a journey. Somewhere in the process of crossing the bridge, you will realize that there are tools that you have been given or developed throughout your life that will help you along the way to overcome any new obstacles and to further improve your potential. This journey is a process, getting from one side where it looked like you were at an end to another that is just the beginning, an area that you can chose to walk which ever way you want. It might not be beautiful all the time, and there might be obstacles along the path, but the good news is that you get to choose it, and you can choose to complete that walk with meaning and purpose so that life following this crisis is meaningful and possibly even slightly better than it was before.
I know that this sounds like a bunch of motivational speech that a therapist or trainer might give a patient to encourage them to work, however I promise that it is a very personal reflection of my journey over the past year. In the beginning of 2018 my life was in it’s usual state of slightly controlled chaos. Financially things were secure, my husband was starting the job he had been looking for since he graduated. My kids were getting good grades in school, and we were dealing with our “normal bit of dysfunction” with the interactions at home, the kind I thought I should expect with 3 almost teen girls and a 2 year old boy. We had moved to a new house and the girls were making new friends in a good school system. This is when we started noticing a change in one of our daughters, (well maybe not a change, but an increase in severity and frequency of behaviors). Through a long and fairly fruitless trek through the healthcare system, we were able to finally end up with a diagnosis that she fell into the Autism Spectrum, which meant that the behavior that we had been dealing with were really her brains reaction to not being able to handle the stimuli surrounding her. My reality was shaken, and we began to try and process this new information. Parallel to this occurring, my husband who is a type one Diabetic, began having some serious issues controlling his blood sugar and I received a call at work from the Paramedics that they had found him on the side of the road, passed out in the car. Thank God that it happened with his foot on the brake, and there was no real damage, but a definite wake up call, and another little part of my world crumbled. My job at the time as a Physical Therapist in a skilled/rehab setting was fairly demanding. I was responsible not only for working with low level patients, getting them back to moving again, which can be very physically demanding, but also for managing part of a team, which includes attempting to discharge plan, training and making recommendations to families that might not be so receptive to what you have to say, which can be very mentally challenging. However I loved it and looked forward to the challenges and helping my co-workers and my patients. Then due to the ever changing health care system there were some changes in policy and practice that changed the way I felt. I went from looking forward to going to work to it being a very stressful event in my life, and feeling at odds that I could no longer help my co-workers or my patients to the best of my ability which tore at who I am. I want to make it clear that in no way was this stated to me or part of the policy, but a result of my personal evaluation of the situation. I am sharing this not to evoke a sense of pity, or out of malice, but because I want you to understand where I was in my life. These changes began to take a toll on my body, my blood pressure was up, I gained weight and my sugar spiraled out of control. At this point I knew things needed to change or I was not going to survive. It was a scary situation because I was very comfortable with the way things were, and I did not know what direction to go in. That’s when I fell back on prayer, my faith, and my support system, especially my Mother, my Husband. my Grandma and my Dad at this time. I began to look at different jobs, as well as different counseling systems for my daughter. As I was frantically grasping for an escape route, I began to realize that I needed to understand what it was that I was looking for. Being a Christian, I believe that I am loved and valued by a wonderful Creator that then expects me to love and value his Creation. I believe that Jesus set an example for us on how to do that, and when he was helping people he took the time to see what their needs really were, he put his hands on them, touching them both physically and spiritually, and most importantly he restored hope. I tell you this not because I think you need to believe the same, just because it innately shapes who I am and began to set the mold for how I would begin those steps over the bridge to the next step of my life. The idea of Purpose Driven Therapy was formed in this time soul searching and became my mission. As soon as I was able to cling to those beliefs I began to experience a peace that took away the stress of the chaos that surrounded me. Then I began to see that there was an amazing support system that surrounded me that was much larger than I ever realized. With that I began to take the steps I needed to walk out of the hopelessness and onto a new path. On a visit to the Doctor’s, I was faced with an A1C that diagnosed me with Diabetes. Even though I knew that was the problem and it was why I scheduled the appointment to begin with, I still found the diagnosis offensive and refused to actually accept that I had it. I figured if I changed my diet and lost some weight, things would be fine. I went through the other stages as well, blaming circumstances, pregnancies, being upset, angry at the disease itself. However, I am finally at a point where I know I have it, it effects me, I need to watch my diet, exercise differently, take medication, and sometimes that won’t help, but I can work through it. In this time I have had the chance to set up a business where I can deliver care that is hands on and hopefully helps others to heal both physically and spiritually, I can develop policies that will ensure all employees are treated with respect and valued as important members of the team. It has also allowed me time to work on my personal health, to embrace the tools and education I have developed to allow me to overcome new obstacles. I have begun a running routine, and finished 2 miles today even if it was a mediocre 26 minutes that it took me. I was able to achieve this by using the tai chi I love doing to assist me with the breathing so not only does my heart not give me trouble, but I have had fairly little muscle soreness within this six weeks as I have been increasing the “Stress to my Structures.” Not only have I got a new appreciation for running, and my stress has decreased, but I have lost 25 pounds, my blood pressure is 110/70, and my A1C is 5.2. That is not to say my blood sugars are always perfect, in fact I still struggle with high fasting sugars, but that is part of the diagnosis that is now part of my life. However that being said, on the whole I am healthier now than I have been in 15 years, my relationships have improved and I have a stronger sense of what is important in my life. I am not happy that I have diabetes, but I am happy with the change in my life. I want to encourage you if you are at a similar point of crisis, although some things cannot be changed, there is still hope that you can live life on your terms and work to be able to achieve the things that are important to you.